


Can You Drink All My Thoughts?

by Theadrianpng



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ambassador Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), F/M, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Polyamory, Slow Burn, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, zuko gets therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theadrianpng/pseuds/Theadrianpng
Summary: Zuko is worried. A few weeks into his reign as Firelord, everyone in the Gaang went their separate ways. Everyone, that is, except Sokka.Zuko has no Idea why he feels like this, let alone what this is. Does everyone feel this way about their best friend?Titled with a lyric from "Intertwined" by Dodie Clark.
Relationships: Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since the war ended, Sokka has been in the Fire Nation. He’s been helping in any way he can, contributing his ideas during important meetings, helping tackle issues that need to be taken care of-- like removing Ozai memorabilia from public spaces-- and offering his support to Zuko when he needs it. And boy has he needed it. Things haven’t exactly been easy for him, dealing with war reparations and trying to prove himself to his nation, and to the whole world, when so many still see him as an inexperienced child.

Despite all the chaos of navigating a world newly free of war, Sokka has come to enjoy the way he’s been living in the Fire Palace, refreshed by the lack of conflict. That is until today. It was a sunny afternoon and Sokka was sitting at a small table in one of the palace's many courtyards, enjoying his lunch and looking over some documents Zuko gave him earlier that day, when a messenger hawk landed on his table. He took the scroll from the hawk and saw the water tribe insignia stamped in blue ink on the corner, a letter from his father. Sokka opened the scroll and devoured it in seconds, but the news on the page didn’t elicit excitement. No, instead he felt a lump form in the back of his throat.

* * *

“Oh, Sokka, I was just about to send for you,” Zuko said cheerfully as Sokka came into the study. “I need to talk to you about something”.

“Actually, I need to talk to you, too.” Zuko seemed oblivious of Sokka’s bad mood as he motioned for him to sit.

“I got a scroll from my Dad--”

“I want you to be my Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe”

“They want me to be the next Chief.” Both stared at each other in silence for a few moments, mouths agape, having broken the news at almost the exact same time.

Zuko looked away and swallowed, “That’s great, Sokka, I’m really happy for you.”

“But it’s not great,” Sokka moaned, shaking his head, “I don’t want to be Chief.”

“Oh.”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, “I love my tribe, and I love my people, and my Dad but… I love traveling, and I love doing important things for the world-- I mean not that the Southern water Tribe isn’t important I just… Being chief is such a big responsibility, I'm barely seventeen!” He sighs again, “Plus...I like it here. I’m not ready to leave it yet.” Zuko looks visibly relieved at this.

“I’m glad to hear that, that you like it here, I mean. I like having you here” he smiles slightly. “Does this mean you accept my offer?”

“It would be an honor to be your ambassador,” Sokka says in his exaggerated fake-noble voice and giving a deep bow, making Zuko giggle just a little bit. “I guess I have to go write Dad back now,” he says while getting up to leave.

“Alright, I’ll see you later then.” Zuko pauses, and speaks again before Sokka reaches the door, “Hey Sokka?” He turns around to look at his friend. “Thank you. For everything, I mean. You didn’t have to stay here after the war ended, but you did. And I really appreciate all your help.”

“Of course, Zuko.” They smile at each other for just a moment before Sokka turns again, and leaves the room.

Once the door closes, Zuko slumps back in his chair and lets out a soft, breathy sigh. He tries not to think about how his anxiety spiked in the moment Sokka said the word "chief". He tries not to think about how he was quickly soothed when Sokka said he wanted to stay in the Fire Nation, that he was happy here. He tries not to worry that Sokka is only staying for his sake, that he feels like he has to be here for Zuko, because the last thing Zuko wants is to hold Sokka back.

But Zuko is worried. A few weeks into his reign as Firelord, everyone in the Gaang went their separate ways. Everyone, that is, except Sokka. Aang and Katara travel the world on Appa, going wherever they're needed most. Toph decided to start teaching earthbending and metalbending to young kids. Suki went off with Mai, Ty Lee, and the other Kyoshi Warriors to aid in Earth Kingdom rebuilding efforts (though she visits when she has the time). But Sokka… elected to stay. Here. In the Fire Nation. A place he loves to complain about, how the weather is unbearable, how his cohorts and generals are stuffy and uptight. He constantly makes fun of them when it's just the two of them, and he breaks almost every Fire Palace rule every day on purpose. It doesn't make any sense.

Sokka said that one of the reasons he can't become Chief is that he likes traveling, but the only other place he's been these past months is when he went back to his tribe for a few days to celebrate his seventeenth birthday. So why, he wondered, does Sokka want to stay here so badly?

With a huff, Zuko pushes away from his desk and leaves his study, neglecting the pile of paperwork that needs to be filled out. He can't work like this right now, he needs to clear his head.


	2. Chapter 2

Zuko makes his way through the winding halls of the palace, eventually coming to a small open garden peppered with trees. It’s the same one he used to spend afternoons in with his mother. Though the turtle ducks have long been gone, he sits near the edge of the pond where they used to swim. He’s aware of the tension building up inside of him, a familiar yet unwelcome sensation. Zuko is no stranger to sudden bouts of anxiety, they come to him so often now. Luckily not many people spend much time here, so he doesn’t have to worry about anyone catching him in the midst of an attack. No one knows about it, not even Sokka. Of course, he knows that Zuko gets stressed from time to time… but Zuko doesn’t want anyone to worry about him. He doesn’t want anyone to take on the burden of his problems. He doesn’t want to depend on anyone. So he sits in his distress quietly, waiting for the waves to subside so he can get back to work. 

Minutes pass by and the shaking of his shoulders calm to a slow tremble, and the deep gasps of his breath slow to a rhythmic steady pattern. Zuko can't help but wish things were different. That  _ he _ was different. The world is so full of complexity and conflict, he wishes he could just make it a little easier. Sometimes he even feels like a freak, that everyone else around him was born with some secret knowledge on how to be a functioning human and somehow he missed the memo. He never knows what to say, but people like Sokka always do. He speaks like it comes so naturally to him, cracking jokes and coming up with plans.

Even romance comes easily to Sokka. Despite all the distance and business of both of them, he and Suki are still going strong, writing letters to each other on a weekly basis and Suki taking trips to the Fire Nation just to see him. It makes Zuko feel… upset. He can't really describe it. Whenever he sees them together he gets this hot, ugly feeling in his gut. Jealousy? He and Mai never had anything close to what Sokka and Suki have. Honestly he never had very strong feelings for Mai, the main reason he started dating her was because she was there and she liked him. That's what he was supposed to do, right? He never had someone treat him like that before, wanting to give him attention and affection.  _ That's _ what he liked, not Mai. So when she left him for Ty Lee, he wasn't all that upset about it. But he definitely felt guilty for being with her in the first place when he didn't have feelings for her. 

* * *

Sokka was on his way back to his room from sending the letter to Hadoka when he spotted Zuko sitting alone, staring absently at the surface of the pond. Concerned, he made his way to Zuko’s side. 

“Hey, buddy, everything okay?” he said, peering down at his friend. 

Zuko doesn’t look at him, “Yeah… I just needed to take a walk. Get some fresh air, y’know?” 

He could tell that Zuko wasn’t being completely honest, but he decided not to push. He knew that he had a hard time being vulnerable about his feelings sometimes. He plopped down onto the ground next to him, joining him in staring at the water in silence. 

“We should go swimming before the winter sets in, while it’s still warm,” he says after a while.

Zuko furrows his brow and imagines what it would be like to go swimming, the cool water cutting through the sticky warmth. He fights back a smile, thinking about how fun it sounds. 

“I wish I could--” he starts before Sokka cuts him off with a groan. 

“You know you can’t work every single day of your life!”

“I can’t just take a break from being Firelord, Sokka.” But Sokka is looking at him so sadly, and Zuko thinks he would probably die if he had to say no right now. 

He takes a breath and opens his mouth for another excuse, but what comes out instead is “I know the perfect place.” 

A wide grin spreads across Sokka’s face, “Great!! Let’s go tomorrow.” And before Zuko can protest, Sokka gives him a tight hug and walks off, leaving Zuko on the grass with a tingly warmth rushing through his body. He just sits there for a few seconds with a big dumb smile plastered on his cheeks before getting up. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all. 

  
  



	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this whole "day off" thing wasn't such a bad idea. Zuko's feelings get more confusing. Sokka gets a little serious.

The next morning Zuko and Sokka pack lightly for a day at the lake. Somehow, Sokka managed to get all of Zuko's meetings for the day pushed back. Maybe he had convinced all of them that mental health is important to look after, but Zuko had a feeling it has more to do with the fact that Sokka can be very, very annoying when he wants something. Either way, he's grateful. He does still feel a little guilty about taking the day off, but he's mostly looking forward to it. 

"It should only be around a 20 minute ride," he walked up with his rhinolizard on a lead. 

"What, only one?" Sokka looked at him curiously. 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you know how to ride one of these," he smirked in return. 

"You know what, that's fair." 

And so they rode, Sokka gently clinging onto Zuko's back, enjoying the scenes of the countryside. 

* * *

Sokka wasted no time once they reached the water, ripping off his clothes and running directly into the water. He was waist deep when he froze. 

"YIKES!" he screeched, "It's so cold!!"

Zuko dismounted, chuckling, "Maybe you should've been patient and helped me unload before diving headfirst into the water, buddy." 

He glared at Zuko, but made no move to leave the lake. 

He wasn't sure what all Sokka had packed, but Zuko brought some lunch and a blanket so they could have a picnic. 

By the time he had everything laid out and set up a little resting area for his rhino, Sokka had seemingly gotten used to the cold water and was lazily swimming around. Zuko smiled softly to himself and started to join his friend. 

He waded slowly into the lake. Bracing against the cold, he used a small amount of firebending to warm himself slightly. 

"Helloo" Sokka said, popping out from under the surface in front of Zuko and giving a mischievous look, which was quickly replaced with confusion and disgust. 

"Dude!!" he splashed at Zuko and backed away. 

Zuko laughed and splashed back, "Um did you forget about the whole firebending thing?" 

"Oh yeah, I totally didn't forget that you could heat water with your mind and assumed you peed." Another splash. 

Soon they were consumed in a full-on water fight, trying to soak the other person as much as possible using only their non-waterbending arms until they were both sopping wet and out of breath. 

As they stood belly-deep in lake, chests heaving, Zuko suddenly became very aware of the proximity of Sokka's body to his own. He was so close that they would be touching if one of them leaned in just a few inches. He watched a droplet of water drip from Sokka's hair and roll down his cheek, hesitating at the tip of his chin before dropping off into the pool below. 

Zuko felt the heat of a deep blush rising in his cheeks, and steam began to flood his vision. A second later he realized that it was  _ his _ steam. Immediately embarrassed, he started stammering out an apology but Sokka cut him off before any words could escape. 

"Wow no need to show off, jerkbender." 

He let out a forced laugh, relieved that Sokka thought he did it on purpose.

"You packed food right? I'm starving!" Sokka started to make his way back to land. 

"We  _ just  _ got here." 

"The stomach wants what the stomach wants, dear Zuko" he said as he dramatically fluttered his eyelids. 

* * *

Still dripping, they sat on the soft grass and ate their sandwiches, which were just slightly soggy from lakewater. Zuko couldn't remember if he had brought towels, but he found that he didn't really care. He was happy. 

"So Suki might be coming up from Ba Sing Se to visit soon," Sokka said casually with a full mouth. 

Zuko felt a pit in his stomach. "Oh, that's great," he replied, trying not to sound upset. 

Sokka lowered his sandwich, "Are you okay?" 

The question made Zuko flinch. He felt angry at himself for reacting the way he did. Why does any mention of Suki make him feel all… jumbled up inside? "Yeah, no I'm great. Why do you ask?" 

"Zuko, is this because you think Suki doesn't like you?" 

He blinked. "Was it that obvious?" he lied. 

"Oh come on, man" Sokka threw his arm around Zuko's shoulder, "Suki thinks you're great!" Zuko felt a strange jolt of excitement. "And she totally forgot about the whole 'you burnt down her village' thing! You totally proved yourself to her, yknow." 

He looked at Sokka, "Really?" 

"Of course! You did help rescue her from a top-security prison and also had a hand in saving the whole world." 

Suko scoffed, "Yeah I don't know about that last part." 

Sokka suddenly pulled away, holding Zuko at arms-length with both his hands on either of Zuko's shoulders. He looked very serious. "Zuko. Listen to me. I know you have this… 'I'm a horrible person and I'll never be able to make up for the bad things I did in the past' attitude, but you really have done a lot of good things. Not only for the gang, but for the world. Do you ever stop to take notice of all the good changes happening because of you? I don't know if you've left the palace lately and just, like,  _ existed _ but the Fire Nation is so much different than it was the first time I came here. People dance, and make art. Kids play in the street. The Nation is alive! I don't think I'd ever seen a Fire Nation citizen laugh before you became Firelord. This is all because of your hard work." 

Zuko was absolutely speechless. The only thing he could do was stare. Was he really making such a big impact? He really hasn't been outside the palace much at all since he began his reign… 

"I want to see it." He said, finally. "I want to see all those things you said with my own eyes." 

"Then I'll show you sometime." 

And they smiled. Smiled at each other. At themselves. And Sokka's hands lingered on Zuko for just a little too long. And Zuko's eyes lingered on Sokka's face for a little too long. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! I work most days and I've also been doing artfight (if you want to see you can follow me on tumblr @queerjoys). I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zuko has a quality bonding moment with Suki.

That night, Zuko had gotten the most restful night of sleep he's had in a very long time. They arrived back at the Palace just as the last bits of sunlight were draining from the sky, the moment Zuko's head touched the pillow, he was out. 

This morning he was sitting in a meeting, lost in thought, already reminiscing on the day at the lake. 

"Firelord Zuko, do you have any proposals?" 

Zuko snapped into the present, he hadn't been paying attention to anything for the past few minutes. 

"Could you please rephrase the issue for me, Director." 

The director of education cleared her throat, "Apologies, my Lord, what would you suggest we do about the inaccuracies and propaganda plaguing our school system?" 

Thank goodness, Zuko already had an answer for this one, "Well, firstly we should focus on rewriting the textbooks. I suggest we assemble a team of historians that can collaborate with the department of education to create textbooks that are more historically accurate." 

Sokka jumped in, "We should recruit researchers from each of the four nations to make sure there's no bias favoring one nation's perspective over the other. And as for the Air Nomads, Aang makes for a great primary source. He could make sure the information is actually correct." 

The Director cleared her throat once more. "Yes, that sounds excellent," she said without an ounce of enthusiasm. 

Zuko smiled very slightly to himself, Sokka was making a great ambassador so far. 

"Good," he said, "Bring me a list of people to contact as soon as you can and I'll send out the letters from there." 

* * *

Zuko was in back-to-back meetings practically all morning, by the time he had a moment to himself it was a little past noon, and he was sitting in the throne room. The room was drastically remodeled to be less hostile: the giant wall of fire was gone, replaced with lanterns that hung from the ceiling, it was decorated with artwork from different parts of the nation, and most importantly, he left the doorway open for anyone. He no longer wanted the people of his nation to feel like they were inferior to him, they were his equals. 

He busied himself with reading letters, he had set up an inbox of sorts where citizens could tell him the problems they were facing. This was crucial to him, Zuko wanted to be in touch with his people, no noble or high-status official would be able to know the problems of the everyday person like they would themselves. And plenty made use of it, which he was thankful for. To his surprise, though, every once in a while he would get a letter that was just gratitude. No problems or suggestions, just a 'thank you'. He was thankful for those, too. 

He was engrossed in a letter sent by a farmer in the northern part of the nation when Sokka walked in, side-by-side with Suki in her warriors uniform. 

Zuko stood and put on his diplomatic smile.

"Suki of Kyoshi Island, it's a pleasure to have you in the Fire Nation once again," he said, bowing in greeting. 

Suki bowed back and smiled, "Hey, Zuko." 

This made him laugh, he loved that none of his friends were ever formal to him despite all of his efforts. It made him feel like a person. 

"I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you so soon." 

"Well this trip wasn't entirely for personal reasons." 

Zuko quirked up his eyebrow, "What do you mean?" 

Suki and Sokka exchanged glances, then Sokka spoke, "Suki has picked up on some rumors. There's some people who don't like you very much… devotees to Ozai--" 

"We don't think you're in any immediate danger," Suki interrupted, "But we don't want to take any risks." 

Sokka nodded in agreement, "It's better we be safe than sorry." 

There was a brief moment of quiet as they waited for Zuko to respond. 

"Okay," he said "What are we doing about it?" 

A wide smile spread across Sokka's face and he raised his arm to gesture at Suki. 

"Meet your new personal bodyguard!" he said. 

"Just for now," Suki playfully shoved her boyfriend, "Until we can assess the situation further." 

* * *

The night was growing late as Zuko was finishing up paperwork in his study. He leaned back in his chair and stretched the tension out of his shoulders. He stood up and walked out of the door, momentarily startled by Suki, who was stationed outside. 

"Going to bed now?" she asked him. 

"No. To the kitchens." 

They walked side by side in awkward silence. 

"So… does it ever get boring being a guard?" Zuko asked. 

"Hm, not really. Not to me at least." 

"Really? Aren't you just standing around all day?" 

"Yeah, but I have ways to pass the time." Suki smiled slyly. 

"Oh?" 

"I write poetry in my head."

"I didn't know you were a poet." 

"Not many people do. Most people tend not to think I have any complexity to me, like my only personality trait is being a Kyoshi Warrior." 

"I know the feeling. The way people think they know everything about you already before getting to know you."

They reached the kitchens, empty and darkened. Zuko lit a few lanterns and took out a pitcher and two glasses from a cabinet, filling them with a cloudy purple drink. He handed one of the glasses to Suki. 

"What is it?" she asked. 

"It's a chilled lavender jasmine tea." 

She looked surprised, but took a sip, "Oh, this is good." 

"Thanks. My uncle, he loves tea. He loves experimenting and coming up with new ways to drink it. Sometimes, when I miss him… I'll make my own tea creations." He avoided eye contact. "I was really bad at it for a while. I had no idea what I was doing." He chuckled softly. 

"That's really nice, Zuko." 

He smiled, "He owns a tea shop in the Earth Kingdom. The Jasmine Dragon. Do you know it?" 

"Best tea in Ba Sing Se," Suki replied. "It must be nice to have him as an uncle, he has a kind spirit." 

"It is nice." Zuko stared into his cup, then sighed. "I think it's time to go to bed." 

"Yeah," Suki replied. 

* * *

In his room, Zuko lay under the soft silk sheets in his bed, staring at nothing. He willed the world to be more simple, to no avail. Nothing changed around him as he drifted to sleep. The universe has no intentions, it just keeps going regardless of what you have to say about it. 

  
  
  



End file.
